Four Steps to Identify When Fear Is Holding You Down

Know the steps to identify and overcome fear, so you can achieve success

EDITOR’S NOTE: This is part one of a three-part series about the impact of fear and happiness on your ability to achieve success.

Fear and happiness may seem diametrically opposed experiences, but, in fact, they are often connected. While you may not experience happiness while feeling fear, achieving happiness can often be tied to your ability to move past your fears. Managing both fear and happiness contribute to your ability to achieve personal and professional success.

An important aspect of managing fear and moving toward happiness involves your ability to identify fear and understand its impact. In this article, I will explore the importance of recognizing when fear is holding you hostage. In the next two articles in this series, I will explore how to move past fear and toward happiness.

Fear is defined as a distressing feeling that we experience both emotionally and physically, aroused by a perception of danger. We often walk a fine line with fear, understanding that it can be useful and even fun but also aware that too much of it can cause us to lose our way. Fear has two faces: one side that can pull you down and another that can motivate you to push ahead.

Short- and Long-Term Fear

Generally, people recognize short-term fear by physical signs (such as elevated heart rates, faster breathing, muscle weakness or tension, difficulty concentrating or swallowing, hot or cold sweats or shakes, upset stomach) or the psychological signs (such as irritability, jumpiness, confusion and an inability to make a decision). Fear can result from physical danger, but it can also come from an exciting ride at the amusement park, a scary movie, launching a new business venture or asking the person you admire for a date. These short-term fears can have an effect that can be exhilarating; you know the expression “A good scare can get your heart pumping.” When you are in control and able to manage the feelings associated with fear, you can use it as the push you need to take action.

However, fear that lasts longer (a few hours or days without relief or resolution) can fill your brain and body with chemicals that eat away at your reserves. If you have ever spent any time in fear, you understand how you begin to feel weighed down, unsure, tired, tense and so much more. Over time and with repeated exposure to a fear, your baseline set point for a fear reaction can change such that you may lose the ability to form an effective response to it. You may no longer register the physical or psychological signs, and when this happens you have changed your mind and body away from their normal and healthy states of response.

Take the Steps

Ongoing fear leads to a loss of trust in yourself and others, and when fear crosses into the territory of settling in, you can no longer count on your impressions of people and situations. This state of being is difficult to operate within, so it is important that you take the time to recognize if your feelings and reactions are trustworthy when you are experiencing events, situations, worries and more that have been pushing you toward fear.

Follow these four steps to begin to determine if fear is holding you down:

1) Identify. Consider recent fears that have impacted your life. Those might involve tangible things (such as the anticipated loss of a business, job, spouse and health) or something different (such as the loss of your confidence, pride, dreams and more). Consider whether you have experienced any of the physical or cognitive reactions mentioned previously. Focus on your experience of fear and not on the actual events. As you think about a fear, pay attention to your reaction and see if you begin to experience any of the physical or cognitive reactions associated with fear.

2) Assess. Now ask yourself whether you are still experiencing fear in the same way recently. Does your heart start beating quickly? Do you feel tense or short of breath? As you think about what is causing or has caused you fear, can you clearly think about it or are you struggling to call details into your mind?

3) Notice. If you notice your reaction to fear has changed, lessened or you barely register it, you need to stop and ask yourself what has happened. Was there something you did to address or resolve the fear, or did it just change? People are, indeed, resilient and sometimes able to just push past a fear. But sometimes fear becomes invisible, and when that happens, it can be an insidious thing. If you are no longer reacting to fear normally but have not resolved it, the fear might have taken root and slowly begun breaking down your resilience.

4) Pay attention. If you have, indeed, lowered your set point reaction to fear, you need to pay attention to your body and psychological reactions to all of the situations and people. When you no longer have a healthy fear response, you are more likely to miss the warning signs of danger and can become vulnerable to errors in judgment and action.

If you have read through these four steps and are concerned you have lost your perspective on fear, you need to regain control of your ability to monitor and manage your emotional and physical reactions. Identify and enact tangible strategies that include lifestyle changes, meditation and mindfulness, and consider seeking out a professional such as a doctor, therapist or coach. It is not a weakness or failure to identify a need for help; it is a step in the process of making necessary changes to take back control of your emotional health. Once you begin this process of awareness, you can put yourself back in a position to manage your fears so they do not hold you down.

Related content:

Winning Customers By Calming Fears

Sink or Swim…It’s All About Adaption

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Tara Orchard is a coach, trainer and consultant who applies her insights into people and understanding of psychology to facilitate performance improvements for individuals, teams and business. Working with business owners and team leaders she uses personality typing and social and emotional intelligence assessment to consult on relationship and team management, employee development, screening and hiring, social networking and customer communications. She is currently working on a book about the psychology of successful social networking. Tara invites you to connect with her on LinkedIn, Career-coach Canada (www.career-coach.ca) or Careeradex