The Anatomy of Selfishness
Consideration of Self and Others
Selfishness doesnt exist in a vacuum. When contemplating the question, I considered different types of selfishness with different implications.
Selfish By Choice: To develop my response to the question, I considered a few scenarios. One was not an uncommon one, whereby a person declares that he is unhappy in life, career and family and decides to chuck all of them away. What do we think of a person who decides to quit a job and leave his family, which he decided are too burdensome and stifling?
The majority of people would probably think this is both selfish and wrong if and when it is done without consideration for the welfare of others. Is making this choice, when one person harms others and benefits only himself, wrong? How much does one person owe to others? Its a complicated question.
- Selfish by Accident: What about those who dont recognize their actions as selfish, who believe that what theyre doing is in fact benefitting others? Consider the entrepreneur who works 90-hour weeks to ensure his employees have jobs and his family has an income? Is working and never seeing your children, leaving your spouse alone to manage your household, selfish? It can certainly appear so to some.
- Selfish By Need: There are moments when we may need to be selfish. Caring for our own needs and profits is an important choice. Taking care of your health by going for a daily 45-minute run is a good selfish choice, as is working long hours for a few weeks or months to build or save your business. But there are times when missing time with your friends and family to acquire more of something you already have is selfish. These remain an individuals choice, but within different contexts, they mean different things. Everyone will have to determine the cost theyre willing to pay to gain an advantage, whether or not thats only for himself.
Why Not Be Selfish?
Why shouldnt one be selfish? Some people choose to be selfish to survive or thrive. But living is more than surviving. At the end of the day, ongoing acts of selfishness generally take one to a lonely place. Very often, the constantly selfish person loses something of value as a result of constantly seeking to gain only for himself.
This brings me back to the original question. Do you think the person making the choice to leave a career of humanitarian service was making a selfish choice? If you think his choice was selfish, do you also think that theres a good likelihood that it was the right choice at that place and time for that individual?
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