Asking these three questions is one of the many practices around the new year is goal setting.
Since I like doing research to back up the content I share, I went online and found an interesting article about writing down goals statistics: “According to Gallup, only 41% of people in the United States make new year’s resolutions according to writing down goals statistics.”
That means most people never write their goals down.
I like dissecting words and statements because I am aware of the level of inattention we all have; we are bombarded with information, and we hear only a fraction of it; the rest is interpretation. I am sharing this reflection because focus and attention are skills that help us attain our aspirations. It is one of the most challenging ones to cultivate because we are not trained to develop, practice, and foster habits.
I have been researching, studying, practicing, cultivating, and sharing content about emotional intelligence for years. I have spent long periods trying to recognize, transform, create, and develop habits that serve me and habits that do not serve me anymore. Knowing that habits are one of the subconscious programs of the subconscious mind has helped me navigate the tortuous and, at the same time, the exciting path of self-awareness and self-regulation. It requires so much energy, intention, commitment, and attention that I understand why most of us do not even give it a try or quit.
On the other hand, it is hugely fulfilling to observe how little by little we evolve and progress.
There is nothing more rewarding than conquering ourselves. When we are aware of our limiting habits, we have taken the most crucial step in reaching our goals, dreams, and purposes. It requires persistence, clarity, commitment, and intentionality, and of course, it requires energy.
Self-awareness is the ability to identify, among other things, emotions, feelings, thoughts, behaviors, mannerisms, habits, patterns, beliefs, and tendencies that we practice automatically every day without consciousness. Without daily practice, we can hardly expect to spot our limiting trends, and if we cannot do it, how could we choose differently? I could give you a list of abilities to reach your goals in 2023, but I will be doing you a disservice because I know what it takes to change habits, which begins with self-awareness.
If you could commit to developing, practicing, and cultivating self-knowledge in 2023, it would be a huge step forward.
It will be the beginning of self-realization because self-awareness is the door that opens the possibilities for self-regulation and self-motivation. Additionally, building honest and authentic relationships, loving yourself, paying attention to your needs, wants, and desires, and prioritizing nurturing ourselves so we can encourage others.
One of the reasons why most of us end every year feeling depleted, devastated, frustrated, irritated, and angry at ourselves and life is that we do not make our goals a reality. Beliefs like we do not have luck, are disadvantaged, or do not deserve are potent ideas that limit us without us knowing most of the time. In reality, most of the time, we do not live to our full potential because we do not have the habits or beliefs that support our dreams, and we do not count on the tools to change whatever keeps us prisoners of a vicious cycle.
After years of practicing being the Observer of my own behaviors, habits, patterns, and beliefs, I concluded that what I need to make my dreams come true is not a magic wand. I need to work with my subconscious and conscious minds and connect with my inner strength to transform the habits, patterns, and beliefs that block my path to realization. This is not a simple task because it means a 24/7 commitment to myself to live aware, and not only that. I have also committed to observing self-judgment, self-criticism, and self-hatred.
If we cannot connect with our hearts and give ourselves lots of self-love, compassion, attention, and nurturing, we could abandon ourselves to continue on autopilot.
To me, a conscious mind is pure, free of limiting habits, patterns, and beliefs, but let’s not go to the extreme. A conscious mind means a mind that is aware of its unawareness. To have and cultivate a conscious mind, we need tools like 1 Minute of Self-Reflection. A self-awareness tool based on emotional intelligence, mindfulness, and neuroscience. It is the result of my own practice and years of research. As Dr. Lipton, a stem cell biologist, says, repetition is critical to reprogram the subconscious mind.
With that in mind consider these suggestions:
- Set three alarms on your cell phone daily: early in the morning before you start your day, midday, around 12:00 pm and 3:00 pm, and before going to bed, but before you feel sleepy.
- When the alarm goes off, stop doing whatever you are doing for at least 1 minute.
- Take a deep, slow, conscious breath.
- Close your eyes to avoid distractions and really go within
Ask yourself three questions:
- What emotions are present right now? Emotions are chemicals; they are energy in motion and manifest in our bodies. To answer this question, scan your body from head to toe and recognize and mentally mention what you identify. For example, I see the tension in my shoulders, a clenched jaw, palpitations in my chest, and a knot in my stomach.
- What feelings are present right now? To answer this question, use your cognition and mentally mention what you identify. Feelings are the mental experience that occurs seconds after our body registers our emotions. For example, I see anger, I see sadness, I see loneliness, I see frustration, I see doubt, I see confusion, etc.
- What thoughts are present right now? Thoughts are information. We have around 70,000 thoughts per day, 98% repetitive. Ask yourself, and then simply observe and also observe the tendency to take a thought and start knitting a story. Most of our mental stories do not come true, but since we go on autopilot, we get carried away and suffer unnecessarily.
If you practice 1 Minute of Self-Reflection 3 times a day, every day, you will start to recognize the tendency of your mind, and from there, you can begin to choose a different way to relate to life, yourself, and others. Step by step, day after day, you will start to live a different life because you will realize that you are the creator of your experience. This is the best suggestion I can make to create and manifest your goals in 2023.