Never underestimate the power of your own abilities to lead others.
This is something I have been learning for the past 40 years and expect to always continue to learn.
Whether you are a parent, a manager of people in the workplace, or just leading yourself through this crazy life we have been granted, leadership and having a direction is something we must all exercise and practice daily.
Leading and learning is always a “work in progress” and even if you don’t directly manager others, you surely should be managing the most important of is…YOU
Always make sure to allow for “self-care”. Enjoying a day at the beach!
The balance between staying grounded and having an “I know it all” attitude, along with wanting to be liked has always been my scale of balance.
We all innately want to be liked and appreciated but leading people to their success is not always a box of chocolate, nor what is on our personal agenda. Over the years I have studied people plenty and learned what it takes to help them find their spark while still accomplishing your own goals is ultimately the global objective
It’s a fine balance of yin and yang and also a lifetime of unbalanced scales.
Here are my 3 boys when they would play with boxes instead of the new toys.
Learning the benefits of self-imposed “time outs” is a sign of maturity. As a mother of four “darlings”, and I say that with the most honest and loving sarcasm, I would often times give myself my own time-out just to get away from the stimulation that surrounded me. My sanity was many times circled around a 7-year old boy pushing his 3 and 4 -year old brothers who could be barely sitting in a cardboard box (head first), not to mention being pulled by body parts that could be easily dislocated.
Trying to lead this circus around the kitchen all the while, dinner was burning and their baby sister was latched on to me like a suckling baby lamb…A “time out” really should have been a bottle of wine at the beach instead of sitting in the bathroom just to catch my breath.
These were the moments where leadership was most critical and closely watched by all.
The 4 sets of eyes watching my every move and learning from what my face was telling them rather than the spoken word was always the moment of truth. These were those teachable moments that when they are missed can’t be lassoed back in. Some days just randomly walking around Wal-Mart, no groceries needed and “just because”, was what was necessary for me to remember the key in leadership of being responsive and not reactive.
Keeping myself grounded gave them the seeds of perspective and the fact that we would laugh it off later, much later was always the best medicine.
Of course, the baby sister had to do the same has her older brothers!
A few lessons learned along the way as a mom and leader of people in banking is that there is no “one size fits all”.
Just like with children, the approach for inspiration is very individual and unique. My list of tactics in leading others to help them find their own inspiration is clear and to the point and has proven itself many times over.
I hope you find these useful and give yourself the “time-outs” we all need in life.
There really is no “one size fits all” We are all unique and one of a kind!
1. “Ask and it will be given to you.” Matthew 7:7 a/k/a Ask lots of Questions Boss but still tell them what you need.
While this might seem simple, it is very important to ask lots of open-ended questions about what makes your employees tick. It is about them with an underlying purpose that needs to be clearly stated for the good of the team. Set your frame of thinking from their perspective not yours. You are insignificant at this moment, and that alone, is a lesson to be learned and shows emotional maturity. Asking questions like what makes them happy, what fears do they have and thinking about what they still want to do personally is the way to go.
This is something we often forget when “life” gets in the way and we need someone else to gently remind us of what really matters. It’s not questions about work or things work-related; it’s about where they want to go for vacation, their favorite ice cream or the most memorable childhood experience. I can recall having a manager ask me about my biggest fear…I also recall having a very long conversation that also opened the door to self-awareness and created a clear path of what life I really wanted and not what others expected of me. This also showed my where I needed to improve at work which was truly the ultimate objective.
2. Regular “Self-Checks” are critical to leading others.
Taking a stroll down memory lane of your own experiences is always inspiring and should be done often.
I have plenty of childhood stories myself that are imprinted in my mind and have shaped who I am today, but at the time they were happening, they seemed insignificant. Looking back at your historical success as well as failures, (which are really lessons and not failures if you give yourself permission to learn), will often times strike a cord with others.
This explains why wisdom MUST come with time. It’s the actual experiences that give us the fuel to help others find their own way home and sometimes their only way back.
3. As your 3rd Grade Teacher often said, “Put your thinking caps on!” Learn to listen to others; it’s actually a learned skill and not something we are born to do.
Listening to others can be a good thing or something that gets in your way if you find yourself negotiating with your own truth. The key here is to always surround yourself with people who lift you up, but will also be truthful with what you are meant to learn. The quote about “Listening to understand and not to respond is key.
Various people claim to own this quote…whoever it is, it still holds true. Part of listening is the ability to take things in that are not always pleasant but are still necessary for personal growth.
It should be our goal in life to be the best version of ourselves and we get there by listening to what others have to say. When we do this, it gives us control for change and allows us to create our own destination. How beautiful is that ??!!
So as you are constantly moving and standing still to listen, you are leading and managing others along the way.
Never forget that with this power of leading others, you also have the responsibility to attend to their own heart. Often times, you actually have their heart and soul in your hand, and this is not something to take lightly.
Leading others whether personal or professionally is not something to take casually.
Your leadership has the power to change the course of someone’s life including your own.
When you think there is no movement or you are insignificant, that is actually when change is taking place and when silence is the loudest.